The Calm Beneath the Chaos
Through skydiving, surfing, and climbing, he learned to quiet the noise of his past—finding serenity in the danger that once defined him.
Story by Devante Deschwanden
Story by Tommy Corey
Sponsored by XYZ
My parents were on the other side of the law most of my life. I won't get into what they did or their pursuits, but the punishments bestowed upon them that directly affected my life. We were in transit most of my life because we had to be. One of my parents was always looking for a new opportunity and a way to better herself and more lucrative ways to live. The other one spent my whole life in prison due to the fact that he was on the other side of the law and Black. I grew up in dangerous situations and had a lot of trauma, a lot of turmoil, a lot of anger.
Part of my escapism was nature. Nature was the only place where I felt serenity. That was my safe space. I could go for a walk in the forest or the desert or wherever we lived. Sometimes we lived in cities and I would find a place that was peaceful.
My grandmother was a complete nomad. She had this 1984 Toyota pickup, and was all over the place. She could ride horses bareback. She knew how to shoot bow and arrows. She made her own bullets. She wore rattlesnake earrings that she fucking created. I have some fond memories of visiting her house that she was building with my aunt, way out in the middle of the desert.
Grandma taught me how to shoot guns and look for snakes. I would run through the brush with my friends. I grew up drawing totem poles. I would interact with nature every day. I learned about energy, manifestation, transfer, and transmutation.
I grew up in poverty for the most part. I grew up with a lot of poison. It's taken me up until now to rectify that energy in my body and balance out to become what I feel is reflective of my own journey and past.
Extreme sports is one of the ways that I interact with nature. It's more of a way to navigate different environments. And if I'm being completely honest, I. would even go as far to say that they're just sports because nature in itself is extreme. The planet in itself is extreme, and humans are a complex species. And I found ways to play with the planet that seem dangerous to other people. But for me, it's it's fucking exhilarating and I am fully alive in those moments. I'm fully connected.
When I'm skydiving, if I have a wingsuit or a parachute or if I'm going to do base jumping, the only thoughts going through my mind are my position in the universe. When I'm surfing, I'm fully present. It's me. It's the waves. It's the way the sun is reflecting off the water. It's my breath. It's my muscle contractions. When I'm rock climbing, it's me, it's the mountain. It's my grip. I hear the birds. I hear rustling in the leaves and the trees blowing next to me.
I spent time in the jungles as a forest ranger and working with scientists in tracking animal life. If anything, nature's taught me that we're not at the top of the food chain. I think we all know that, but when you interact with the world authentically, when you give in to nature and join it the way that Indigenous tribes and cultures used to way back when, when Homo africanus was in transition to Homo sapiens, there are ways that people can become more. One of those ways is through nature.
My childhood was nuts. It was fucking insane. It was absolutely insane. I've seen things that most people only hear about or see in movies. I've experienced it. I ended up in precarious situations. However, through and through nature, the outdoors, always and forever, will be my place of refuge.
Overcoming fear, for me, is more a matter of what's motivating you to push through. If you're motivation to overcome whatever the obstacle is isn't strong, than fear will beat you every time. My motivation is living to the fullest capacity of the word, fear. One of the evolutionary traits of humans is that our brains develop to calculate risk. 90% of my experiences - the ones that I love, my favorite experiences, have happened because I pushed through fear, and that's calculated risk. But I'd rather take the risk, have an extraordinary story, and lead an extraordinary life.
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